Random things that have nothing to do with each other

Happy Friday everyone! As always, I hope you're avoiding your responsibilities and leaving work early today. And for those of you in the En-why-cee, you may actually have a legit excuse to do so today: it is snowing like whoa out there! We're getting our first real snowstorm and I'm loving it. That is, until I have to step outside in it. My friends and I have plans to go to dinner and a show tonight so I'm hoping this doesn't turn into a blizzard.

As I like to do on every 5th day of the workweek, I've compiled a list of random things for your Friday enjoyment.

Someone needs to feed Kelly Rippa. Contrary to popular belief among 20-year olds and everyone in Hollywood, there is such a thing as being too thin. And Kelly Ripa proves my point. She needs to eat a bacon cheeseburger like, yesterday.

Michelle Duggar popped out her 37th kid. The couple with 17 kids welcomed their 18th yesterday in Arkansas. Her husband Jim Bob was quoted as saying, "We would love to have more." Upon hearing that statement, Michelle's vagina got up and walked out of the room. It was later found smoking a bowl while booking a one way ticket to the Cayman Islands.

Fringe wasn't that great; try Burn "Notice" instead. The other day I talked about how J.J. Abrams' new show "Fringe" looked promising. Well after watching a second episode I decided it wasn't for me. That wacky science stuff is just too unbelievable for me to take seriously. It's why I never watched X-Files. I did, however, start watching another show on Hulu that lives up to the hype. I've watched 4 episodes of "Burn Notice," and so far, it's pretty excellent. It centers around a ex-government spy who has essentially been kicked out of the spy club. His assets are frozen, his contacts have vanished and he's left to fend for himself in Miami. Ie: he's been burned. So he uses his spy skills to solve random cases for cash while he finds out who in the government did him dirty. What I love about the show is that it doesn't try at all to be like 24. It's more like MacGyver, but way funnier.

Jeremy Piven is lie-telling. At least I think so. According to his doctors, Ari Gold has mercury poisoning and will not be able to continue his performance in a Broadway show called "Speed-the-plow." Mercury poisoning, hmm? Methinks the Pivert wanted out of the show and had to find a legit reason. And he came up with, "I ate too much sushi." Yeah, I bet you did.

I fell down the stairs this morning and hurt my assbone. Again. I'm pretty much a legend in my family for being the most clumsy person ever. Not a holiday goes by that I don't spill the wine or drop the eggs or burn the potatoes or, on one awesome occasion, almost set the tree on fire. So really, you shouldn't be surprised by this latest occurrence. I'll probably fall in the snow later today or drop my drink into someone's chicken. But hey, at least the steps were carpeted this time.

One movie, one show and one album

I've had sort of a busy year so I didn't get a chance to see many movies. But I did watch one of the movies about which I made a totally unqualified Golden Globe prediction the other day. It was In Bruges and it was damn good. I mistakenly thought it was a comedy and found out the hard way that it was only sort of a comedy. A very dark comedy. In the same way that Pulp Fiction and Snatch are comedies. The movie is about two criminals who are sent to hide out in the Belgian city of Bruges after one of them kills someone they shouldn't have. The scenery was amazing, so great that I added Bruges to my list of cities left to see in Europe. And the best part about the movie: it features a little person! Oh how I love the little people. I won't give away more details, but let's just say that I now see why it (and Colin Ferrell) were nominated for several Golden Globes.

I also wanted to comment on a show that I watched last night. I went on Hulu to look for some episodes of "Man Men" because everyone I know says it's the best show of all time. While I didn't find any eps of Mad Men, I did come across a show called "Fringe." It's like X-Files meets Law and Order meets CSI. I only watched the pilot (which was an impressive 90-minutes long) but it seems like a pretty interesting show. The main character is an FBI agent named Olivia who gets involved in an area of science called fringe science - things like reanimation, mind-reading, life on other planets - after her boyfriend dies under suspicious circumstances. Josh Jackson plays an uber-smart (and really funny) rogue accomplice to Olivia, which makes this show all the more pleasing to the eye. And it's written by J.J. Abrams, the executive producer and writer for projects like LOST, Felicity, Alias, Armageddon, and Forever Young. I've only watched one episode, but it looks promising.

Lastly, can we talk about Vampire Weekend? We all know how I feel about music, but their self-titled album is hands-down my favorite album of the year, if not the last few. It's upbeat, catchy, unique, and full of weird lyrics. Seriously, who does give a fuck about an Oxford comma?