Back to life

Vacations are fun. They're even more fun when you get to do vacation-y type things with your significant other, instead of with your significant other and your dad. But hey--it's not my dad's fault he wanted to spend every free minute with his daughter who he hasn't seen in over a year.

 Hi, Daddy! You're on the internet!

Nor is it my dad's fault that Rad Boyfriend and I left our party clothes at his house in Boca Raton before we left to attend a wedding three hours away in Orlando, causing us to spend our only free day at a mall.

A mall that's near something called "Holy Land Experience." (??)

But you know what? We still had a blast.

Because we were together. (Commence vomiting in 3, 2, 1....)

It was organic and crunchy

Scene: I'm house-sitting for some friends of the Rad Boyfriend and...me? Myself? Whatever, I'm house-sitting for people we both know. Rad Boyfriend opens up their fridge and pulls out a plastic deli container.

RB: This is the most hippie-looking peanut butter I've ever seen.

Wedding, Part I

My best friend got married a few weeks ago and I was the maid of honor. It was an awesome weekend filled with car towing, scotch drinking, falling, fighting, dancing, and police intervention. Let's recap that weekend, shall we?

Wednesday morning, 8am: Rad Boyfriend and I walk out of my house in San Diego and realize my car is not where I left it. I call the police and they inform me that it's been towed. After 2 hours of phone calls, emails, faxes and tears, RB drives me to work, picks me up later, then drives me to the airport. And all without complaint.

Wednesday night, 11pm: My red-eye to NY is full, RB comes back to the airport to pick me up.

Thursday morning, 4:45am: Cab comes to pick me up and drive me to the airport, where I am told the chances of getting on a flight are slim. I somehow get to Atlanta, and then to NY.

Thursday afternoon: Exhausted and hungry, I arrive at what used to be my childhood home, but is now virtually a brand new house--new kitchen, new bathroom, new floors, new windows, new cabinets, new everything. I am immediately put to work cleaning.

Friday morning: I walk downstairs in my robe and nearly give our contractor a heart attack as he looks awkwardly at my mother, then back to me, then decides the best thing to do is to turn his body completely away from me. Laughter ensues. More cleaning. I spend 3 hours at the DMV. I come home, eat, and resume cleaning the house in preparation for the 20 people we will have over before the wedding the next day. Meanwhile, back in San Diego, Extremely Rad Boyfriend is at the tow yard with the million documents I've sent him, getting my car back for me. (Have I mentioned how awesome he is?)

Friday evening, 9:30pm: Exhausted and filthy, I go get my nails done and practically fall asleep in the pedicure chair. Chinese food at my house with the bridesmaids, all of whom are sleeping over, makes me so tired that I can't keep my eyes open. We finally all get to bed at midnight.

Saturday morning, the big day: I wake up to find that everyone else has been up for over an hour and a half. I take a shower and rush to the salon where everyone is getting their hair and makeup done. We spend 3 hours getting washed, blown, straightened, curled, sprayed, brushed, lined, and photographed. Back at the house, the bride's family arrives as the 7 girls try to get ready in 2 bedrooms. It is a veritable mess of safety pins, hair spray, tears, mascara, tape, heels, bags, bobby pins, and people. People everywhere: photographer people, bridesmaid people, family people, little people (as in children, I wasn't that lucky!!) and more People.

Saturday afternoon: It's pouring rain. The bride is surprisingly calm about all the People and photographers and big wet drops falling from the sky. As the 3pm hour of the ceremony draws near, the People start to leave. We receive multiple phone calls from the groom telling us that the wedding before theirs is running super late, and not to leave yet. Learning that we have at least another 20 minutes, the bride hitches up her skirt and goes upstairs to collect her belongings. She returns with 3 bags on each arm and a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue, which she proceeds to drink straight from the bottle. We look around nervously for the photographer. The limo driver is waiting patiently under an umbrella in the pouring rain. We get the call that it's ok to leave, and we get on our way. The limo driver takes us one by one from the front door in the pouring rain and into the waiting limo--the limo that has marble floors. As everyone steps in with their heels, one by one we trip and fall. Hilarity ensues. The limo driver begins to pull away when I remember I've forgotten my speech, the reading I'm supposed to do in church, on the kitchen table. In a series of awkward turns that sends all of us flying around the back of the limo, we get back to my house.... only to find that someone has locked both doors (to which I have keys) and the screen door (to which I do not have a key.) "FUCK!" is the only thing I can say. Someone suggests I read the passage from my iPhone. "FUCK!" turns into "Fuck it." And that's what I end up doing.

In the next installment of this story, I will introduce to you the groomsmen, the priest, the catering staff at the reception hall, and the police.

To be continued.....

Words cannot express...

...how much you girls mean to me. For seventeen years we've cried on each other's shoulders, made each other laugh, and have been there for each other in more ways than I can count. I have never in my life met another group of women who have the history, the bond, and the love that we have for each other. Don't for a second think that I can ever forget how much you guys mean to me. Without you, I wouldn't be me.

My girls, I will love you forever!!

Shameless!

While I do enjoy talking about myself (and LOST), I will not hesitate to use this website to promote the interests of my friends. I've linked to Liz and Red over at Gingers Is the Watchword on more than one occasion, as I have with Z-man over at Death of the Courtesy Wave. [Side note: Why do my friends' blogs have such long names?] To prove to you that I have friends who are known for things other than blogging, it's someone else's turn to be shouted out on my website... a someone who just happens to be a filmmaker, and who just happens to have made a film recently.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce to you Mr. Todd M. Jones.


Todd and I went to law school together, and humorously enough, ran against each other for President of the Student Bar Association. He was clearly the better candidate (because he won) and way more qualified to be President of the student government at a Jewish law school (because I have no patience and often make off-color Jewish jokes. [See: "Jewish jokes" tag]). Despite being the better man for the job, Todd remained courteous and kind and even asked me to be part of his cabinet as a representative. Todd, in other words, is good people. Which is why I'm plastering his likeness on my website without his permission. (Hi, Todd!)

Mr. Jones and his crew have just completed their latest feature-length film. It's called Throws of Passion and it looks hilarious. Here's what Todd himself has to say about the movie:

Its a "mockumentary," which means if you enjoy THE OFFICE, or RENO 911! or THIS IS SPINAL TAP, then you would dig the style in which this movie is made. It's about a failed cable TV station and the last program it worked on - a Rock, Paper, Scissors tournament.

I watched the trailer three times today and can't wait to see the movie. Check out the trailer for Throws of Passion!!



To Todd, his crew, and everyone in the film (some of whom I recognize), congratulations and much luck! You deserve it!!

Throws of Passion trailer

On having kids you can't fool

Scene: Four girls in their mid-twenties are talking about an upcoming bachelorette trip and the debauchery that will likely take place while away. One of the girls makes an off-color remark about the degree to which she will party on said trip, but quickly tries to correct herself as she realizes a nine-year-old boy is the room. Nine-year-old boy makes the following knowing remark:

"Nuh-uh, that's not what you said! There's no such thing as a corn star!"

Wherein I ask you guys for help and opinions

My best friend of 17+ years is getting married in October. (Hi, Natalie!) As the maid of honor, I've been trying to plan a fun bachelorette weekend in August for six girls and for under $500 each. We don't want to do the stereotypical dinner and strip club, and Atlantic City is definitely out of the question. To stay in Manhattan for the weekend and have spa treatments will run us each about $400 after you calculate meals and other expenses, which is kinda silly considering we all LIVE in New York. We've been looking into destinations outside of New York with a $500 budget, and here's what I've come up with:

Palm Springs, CA. It'll be 110 degrees, but we can stay in a 2-bedroom villa with a kitchen, which will cut down on meal expenses. Fun things to do include outlet shopping, desert parks, a ski lift to the top of mountain where they may be snow, and a huge resort pool.

New Orleans, LA. Hotel and airfare seem to be under $400 per person, but NOLA is notoriously expensive. By the end of the weekend, we'd be well over our budget.

Miami, FL. I sort of feel like this is been-there-done-that territory. While we can get down to Miami for very little, hotels are expensive and so it the nightlife. And really, why go to Miami if you're not gonna partake in the nightlife?

Cruise. A cruise always sounds good in theory because package deals keep costs down. But what they don't tell you about cruises is all the extra fees, port taxes, and expenses [read: alcohol] that go along with the trip. Yes, your accommodations and meals are included in the price, but what about the flight to whatever city the ship leaves from? And the one-night hotel stay in said city the night prior to departure? And all the DRINKING we plan on doing?

Here's where you guys come in. I've gotten comments from readers all over the U.S., so I know y'all are from more places then just New York and San Diego. What are YOUR suggestions for this bachelorette weekend? How do you feel about the places I suggested? Do you have any advice? Can you suggest any other fun places to relax? All you need to know: 6 girls, Friday-Monday any weekend after August 1st up until Labor Day weekend, limit $500 per person. No outdoorsy type activities, please.

Thoughts? Comments? Concerns? Rants? Any suggestions and advice would be most helpful! Thank you!

Light-emitting stars of David

While driving through Park Slope, Brooklyn

MRR: Is that an LED menorah?
Z-man: Yes it is.
MRR: Ooouu that's not Kosher.

Gettin' my culture on

My friend Steve from Colorado/California came out to New York this weekend to visit his brother. Since I hadn't been to the MoMA or Guggenheim in years, we decided to take a little art tour of Manhattan yesterday. It's days like these that remind why I <3 NY.

The Guggenheim

St. Patrick's Cathedral

The Museum of Modern Art

Steve


First picture of yours truly ever posted on this here web log

Andy Warhol

How I feel most of the time

Edward Hopper, one of my favorites

Frida Kahlo. Her work is amazing in person

Self-explanatory (Monet's water lilies)

Gustav Klimt. I actually saw an exhibition of his work in Berlin

Fantastic exhibition of the work of German artist Martin Kippenberger

The day started with randomly coming across a piece of the Berlin Wall in Midtown Manhattan. I for one had no idea it was there. Very cool discovery.

So crepes at a European cafe in Astoria, four hours at the MoMA, some Manhattan architecture, a hot dog from a cart, all kinds of moving and live art at the Guggenheim, dinner at a Thai place in the East Village, and a drink at a KGB bar. If anyone can tell me how to get paid doing those things, please share.

And the card attached would say....

I have this friend. Let's call him James. James and I met about 2 years ago under interesting circumstances. Since then, our friendship has only gotten more interesting. It has run the gamete from friends to romantically interested to romantically involved to I-can't-believe-you-could-be-such-a-douche to you're-actually-pretty-awesome, and recently made the full circle back to friends. In many ways, James has become my go-to person. Whether it's because we share similar experiences or because we just get each other, I can rely on him for an objective opinion and honest advice, no matter what the situation.

James and I recently had a minor falling out due to some insensitive words on my part. (Me? Insensitive? Can you even imagine that?!) I fully expected to get the silent treatment from him, even after I apologized. I instead got nothing but respect, kindness and forgiveness. And what started out as a 10-minute "I'm sorry/it's okay" conversation turned into a 4-hour marathon discussion about life, love, loss and dogs changing color. And Internet, if you can find a friend who appreciates the humor in that last one, then hold on to them. Rad people like that don't come around too often.

....James, thank you for being a friend.

Because a lot of us have it better than some of them

Things I am thankful for this year:

Celebrity gossip websites. Without them, I wouldn't have nearly as much to talk about here.

The awesome world we live in. I've seen a lot of it, but I plan on seeing much, much more in the years to come.

On demand and network websites. I have a TiVO but it's not hooked up (long story.) This actually hasn't posed much of a problem in my TV-watching because every show I watch is either on a cable network that has episodes on demand, or on a regular network that posts their shows online. This comes in handy on Thursday nights when Grey's Anatomy is on at the same time as The Office. My world would collapse if I missed either of those shows.

Makeup removing wipes. The last thing any girl wants to do when she stumbles home drunk from the bars is take her makeup off and wash her face. With these, all you have to do is wipe your face. Hallelujah.

On a serious note, I am very thankful for my friends this year. Studying for the bar was a pretty low point in my life. I don't think I've ever felt more down and out (and dare I say depressed) than during those 2 months. My best friend (hi Natalie!) was always, ALWAYS there for me, giving me constant support, validation and positive reinforcement. I could rely on her to listen to me bitch and whine and she never complained. I thank her for that from the bottom of my heart. And thank you to all my girls and their guys for forcing me to get out of the house on a few Saturdays, you have no idea how much I needed that! (And thanks to Bud for supporting my nasty nicotine habit through it all!)

But I also want to thank everyone else in my life that said they missed me while I was gone. As I've mentioned several times on this site, I sort of fled the country after the bar exam. I went home to the Motherland for what was only supposed to be a 2-week vacation. Two weeks turned into 2 months, and I didn't come home until sometime in October. But when I did, I got so many phone calls and emails from people I didn't expect to hear from--everything from "you're alive!" to "when are we getting together?" to "you're back....let's bang." (OK, that last one was a lie... sort of.) I honestly didn't expect so many people to say that they missed me and that they were happy I was back. It really made me feel good, and reminded me of what wonderful friends I have in my life. So thank you. Thank you Nicolle and Natalie and Caila and Bud and all your men. Thank you law school friends for your constant support and for checking up on me while I was away (I'm lookin' at you, Zman, Rob and Russo!) Thank you to my friends in San Diego (hi Liz!) and Florida and Denver and the Motherland for your long-distance friendships and endless entertainment when I come visit. And an extra special thanks to Stephanie, my roommate, my pumpkin, my love for understanding me better than I think she does.

Thank you and Happy Turkey Day!