Good point, albiet a little sweeping in its assumption that all Republicans/Conservatives feel this way

I try and stay away from politics on this here blog, but once in a while something comes along that is too good not to share. The following excerpt has been floating around the interwebs for a little while now. I found it here. While it does pigeonhole an inferred group of people, I happen to think some of this makes a good point. Enjoy. Or don't.

• You didn't get mad when the Supreme Court stopped a legal recount and appointed a President.
  
• You didn't get mad when Cheney allowed Energy company officials to dictate energy policy.
  
• You didn't get mad when a covert CIA operative got outed.
  
• You didn't get mad when the Patriot Act got passed. You didn't get mad when we illegally invaded a country that posed no threat to us.
  
• You didn't get mad when we spent over 600 billion (and counting) on said illegal war.
  
• You didn't get mad when over 10 billion dollars just disappeared in Iraq.
  
• You didn't get mad when you found out we were torturing people. You didn't get mad when the government was illegally wiretapping Americans.
  
• You didn't get mad when we didn't catch Bin Laden.
  
• You didn't get mad when you saw the horrible conditions at Walter Reed.
  
• You didn't get mad when we let a major US city, New Orleans, drown.
  
• You didn't get mad when we gave a 900 billion tax break to the rich. You didn't get mad when the deficit hit the trillion dollar mark.
  
• You finally got mad when the government decided that people in America deserved the right to see a doctor if they are sick. Yes, illegal wars, lies, corruption, torture, stealing your tax dollars to make the rich richer, are all okay with you, but helping other Americans...oh hell no.

Two things

First, I love Keith Olbermann more than words can say. For the first time since Prince William, I am considering stalking a public figure in hopes of getting them to fall madly in love with me and have 10,000 of my liberal babies.



Second, I am now officially published. That article I was working on for a travel website is up, and my mother couldn't be prouder. (More proud?) Ch-ch-check it out: The Savvy Explorer dot com.

LOST post coming later today.

There is nothing hot about Russell Brand. And yet....

Strange celebrity crushes. We all have them. There's at least one famous person out there whom you think is hot/cute/so ridiculously good-looking that you would shag them upon sight--but who would also cause you endless hours of ridicule if anyone ever found out about your obsession. Okay, so hopefully you're not jonesin' on Richard Simmons. But maybe you have a little thing for Rod Blagojevich? Oprah? Brian Austin Green?

There are a few people in my closet of celebrities I have a thing for, and I'm not ashamed to reveal them. (Well, most of them.) Here goes:

Jesse James. The tattoos, the muscles, that shit-eating smirk....swoon. I guess every girl likes a bad boy.

Mike Rowe. I've mentioned my obession with Mr. Mike Rowe several times on this website. It's no secret. But it IS a litlte strange. First of all, he's pushing 50. Second of all, he crawls into slimy claustrophobia-inducing spaces for a living. But there's something about his self-deprecating, witty humor that really does it for me.

Seth Rogan. I've always said that what I look for in a man goes something like this: first, you have to make laugh. If you can, then show me that you're smart, that what you're joking about is witty and intelligent. Then come the looks--not super important, but you have to be attractive. Seth Rogan is the perfect embodiment of that template: he's one of the funniest people on the planet, he's clearly brainy, and since he's been getting healthy, he's not that bad on the eyes.

Keith Olbermann. I want to marry this man and have 10,000 of his liberal babies.



Who's your weird celebrity crush? And are you brave enough to admit it to the Internet?

Getting older sucks sometimes

It finally happened. I had a feeling this day would come, but I didn't think it would be so soon after leaving the four walls of a higher education institution. Another reason why it sucks to get older: I'm officially offended by Family Guy. ::Hanging head in shame::

I don't know about you, but I always thought Family Guy was pretty funny: the tangents, the song and dance routines, the politically incorrect and off-color humor, it was all awesome. (Especially the performance of the song for which this website is named after. Ahem.) I used to watch this show religiously in law school. I had my TiVO programed to record all the reruns, I watched it before I went to sleep at night, and after hours of studying, nothing was better than sitting in my living room with friends, drinking beer and watching late-night episodes.

I didn't really watch the show much after law school, but I recently tried to catch a few episodes online. And wow. I don't know if I changed or if the show changed, but I feel like it's gone WAY past the sexual innuendos and poop jokes for which it was famous. In the most recent episode, Peter brings home a horse. Among the many inappropriate scnenes, we see Stewie drinking horse semen and Peter moaning while the horse licks his ass. (You can vomit now, I almost did.)

I understand that the whole concept of the show is a parody of everyday life, that it's supposed to be controversial. I get that it's a cartoon and that's probably why some of the dirty stuff is funny. But there has to be a line. And I think the writers of Family Guy kinda, sorta crossed it. I'm not sure when or with what episode or sketch, but the horse episode is evidence that it's clearly happened. And for me, when that line was crossed, the show stopped being funny. I think some of the scenes are purposely written to offend people. I think the writers like to see just how far boundaries can be pushed, how far the censors can be tested. I think they became too focused on being the most controversial, talked-about show on television at the expense of a pretty funny, well-written sitcom. Just my opinion.



Like I said... getting older sucks sometimes.

State of the unconscious

So I've mentioned before that I have very vivid, very strange dreams. Sometimes they make sense, and sometimes they don't. Sometimes the dreams have a theme and central plot line and play out like a movie, and other times it's just a bunch of random scenes stitched together by my wild subconscious. On occasion, I dream about famous people. And most recently, I've been dreaming about Barack Obama. A lot. Like more than a normal person should dream about their president.

I don't know where this all came from, but ever since the election, I've had probably about 2-4 dreams per month about him. And you know what? Even in my dreams, he's a perfect gentleman. He says please and thank you, opens doors, and lets women go first. I find that man so respectful, so genuine and honest, that in the first dream I ever had about him, he made it very clear that he was married and that nothing could ever happen between us. And that theme has pretty much continued throughout the dreams, making every one of them PG-rated. (Lame, I know.) In last night's dream, we were on a weekend trip for which he needed a date, and naturally he chose me. We were staying a huge house in the mountains where he was giving a speech. We stepped out onto the deck, his right hand waving to the crowd, his left hand on my back, guiding me forward. Amidst the cheering crowd, he leaned in and said, "You look lovely." And the only thing going through my mind was, "Too bad he's married."

WHAT?! Who dreams up stuff like that?! Only me. Only in my subconscious would I be on a weekend getaway with the President of the United States and repeatedly remind myself of his moral character and that he would never be unfaithful to his wife. That either makes me the hugest Obama supporter ever, or my mind is trying to tell me never to have an affair with the President. Odd that this wasn't ever a problem before...


....Actually, that makes perfect sense.

Why was I not informed of this earlier?

Oh that's right, because I had my hand up the asses of 34 turkeys. (It's not what it sounds like--I volunteered at a soup kitchen the night before Thanksgiving and gave some birds a butter massage. Wait, that doesn't sound--ah fuck it.)

So get a load of this: everyone's favorite political talking head, the being I so lovingly call the Mother of all C*nts, was finally silenced. Ann Coulter's jaw was wired shut last week. Can you taste the irony?

This article was so good that I had to transcribe (read: copy and paste) the entire thing:

Best-selling author and political commentator, Ann Coulter, has been silenced. Not by critics, but reportedly by a busted jaw.

The New York Post's Page Six reports that "although we didn't think it would be possible to silence Ann Coulter, the leggy reactionary broke her jaw and that the mouth that roared has been wired shut."

Rarely short of opinions to voice, Coulter has many fans on the political right and has earned the ire of leftists, whom she openly disdains. Here are some of Coulter's gems of wisdom, the likes of which we may have to live without in coming weeks.

• "If we took away women's right to vote, we'd never have to worry about another Democrat president. It's kind of a pipe dream, it's a personal fantasy of mine, but I don't think it's going to happen."
• "I was going to have a few comments about John Edwards but you have to go into rehab if you use the word faggot."
• "I'm more of a man than any liberal."
• "Liberals love America like O.J. loved Nicole."
• "We should invade their countries, kill their leaders, and convert them to Christianity."
• "My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building."
• "The swing voters -- I like to refer to them as the idiot voters because they don't have set philosophical principles. You're either a liberal or you're a conservative if you have an IQ above a toaster."
• These broads are millionaires, lionized on TV and in articles about them, reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by grief-arazzis. These self-obsessed women seemed genuinely unaware that 9/11 was an attack on our nation and acted as if the terrorist attacks happened only to them. ... I've never seen people enjoying their husbands' deaths so much ... the Democrat ratpack gals endorsed John Kerry for president ... cutting campaign commercials... how do we know their husbands weren't planning to divorce these harpies? Now that their shelf life is dwindling, they'd better hurry up and appear in Playboy."

It's unclear how Coulter's jaw was broken.

I love how they list a bevy of quotes that would make even the most God-fearing, gun-toting Alabama congressman want to bitchslap the ho, and then tell us it's unclear how she broke her jaw.

I bet it was Bill Maher.

This truly disgusts me

I don't go shopping on Black Friday. I never did and I'm pretty sure I never will. For one, I hate crowds. I like to go into a store, pick up what I came for, and leave. Fighting my way through obnoxious people at 5am to save $20 on a digital camera does not sound like my idea of a good time. Secondly, I have a very low tolerance for stupidity. And people who come out at 5am to bum-rush the doors to Wal-Mart, trampling and killing a man like a piece of garbage in the process, rank pretty high on my Stupid List.

I won't lie, I love a good deal as much as the next guy. One of the perks of working as a retail manager for so many years was paying WAY below MSRP for a lot of things. But as much as I like saving money, I like not being bothered more. I'm not one of those people who will travel 5 miles out of my way to save $10 on a sweater because that other store is having a sale. I also won't go somewhere that doesn't have parking, even if I'm missing out on saving $20. Call it laziness, but my time and sanity are much more important than saving a few dollars.

So it follows that I was not one of those people lined up outside Best Buy on Thursday night at midnight. And I was also not one of the maniacs that stampeded the doors of Wal-Mart, killing that poor employee. Out of pure selfish greed, out of some primal need to be first in line, 200 idiots rushed the doors of Wal-Mart on Long Island as they were being opened at 5am, knocked over Jdimytai Damour, an innocent employee, and then stepped on him, trampled him, over and over again until he was dead.

Is this what our country has come to? Is this what Christmas has come to? Killing people in the name of a good deal? I'm pretty sure that's not what Jesus wanted. I hope those people feel real good about themselves this holiday season. But knowing what kind of folk a 5am sale at a Long Island Wal-Mart attracts, I wouldn't be surprised if every single one of those humanitarians is telling their family, "I didn't even see him, I was all the way in the back. It was everyone else who stepped on him, I saw it! I even tried to stop them!" Uh-huh. Which is why when people were told that they have to leave the store because a man had been KILLED, they started screaming, "But I've been on line since yesterday morning!" and continued shopping. Nice.

To everyone that shoved their way into the store that morning: I hope that when your kids open their presents this year, the ones you killed a man in order to save $20 on, you think about him and his family and what kind of Christmas THEY are having. Merry Christmas, America.

Seriously?

"A South Carolina Roman Catholic priest has told his parishioners that they should refrain from receiving Holy Communion if they voted for Barack Obama because the Democratic president-elect supports abortion, and supporting him 'constitutes material cooperation with intrinsic evil.'"

Here is the priest's reasoning:

"Our nation has chosen for its chief executive the most radical pro-abortion politician ever to serve in the United States Senate or to run for president. Voting for a pro-abortion politician when a plausible pro-life alternative exists constitutes material cooperation with intrinsic evil, and those Catholics who do so place themselves outside of the full communion of Christ's Church and under the judgment of divine law. Persons in this condition should not receive Holy Communion until and unless they are reconciled to God in the Sacrament of Penance, lest they eat and drink their own condemnation."

Wow. Seriously?

Because I care about more than just baking cookies

I try to keep politics away from this blog for many reasons. First, I didn't intend for this website to be an outlet for my political views. No matter how right I think I am about my views on abortion or the economy, there will always be someone out there who disagrees with me. And I respect that. Accordingly, I try not to shove my opinions down other people's throats and preach that my way is the right way. Secondly, I didn't want to turn this site into a forum for political discussions. Everyone is entitled to read a website at their leisure without feeling like they have to disagree with what's posted. This site was meant to entertain, not incite.

There are times, however, when I can't help but express my views. There are times when I read something in the newspaper or see something on TV that I find so morally wrong that I can't help but comment on it. And that urge to speak up is severely exaggerated when that something is not only socially irresponsible, but borderline unconstitutional. And that "something" is the state of California voting "yes" on Proposition 8.

I am not gay. I have but one member of my immediate family who is gay. I don't have any close friends who are gay. I don't frequent gay bars on a regular basis or attend parades. The issue of gay marriage minimally affects me in a personal way, if at all. Yet I can't help but find what happened in California on election day nothing short of reprehensible. A state that makes up 12% of this country's population essentially declared that a certain class of citizens had the right to marry, a right which they are fundamentally entitled to under our Constitution and need not be "given," and then took it away. In the wake of making such monumental history, on the same day that this country elected a black man as president, fifty-two perfect of California's population decided that it should not be legal for members of the same sex to marry each other.

I could spend HOURS talking about why this is wrong, why it's illegal, why it's disgusting, why this is exactly the reason I am wary of religion. But rather then argue my opinion by repeating all the points that have already been made by Bill Maher, Margaret Cho and Perez Hilton, I offer you the following comment by MSNBC news correspondant Keith Olbermann. He sums up my feelings on this issue perfectly.




Thanks, Steve

Dear Florida

THIS is bullshit.