It might be a little too early in the morning for giant penises....

...but I make exceptions for giant, lethal penises. I guarantee you will not find anything better on the internet today than this video. Go on. I DARE YOU.

Two Three things

Okay, four.

1. I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while. Things have been kinda busy around here, what with getting beat down by three-year-olds and having holes in my ceiling and these people needing me to run errands for them. Normal posting will resume shortly. I hope.
   
2. It SNOWED here today on Long Island. April effing 8th and it SNOWED. I bet it stopped being winter three weeks ago in Minnesota. I bet the slush has already melted in Denver. I bet people in Phoenix are already using their swimming pools, but here in New York IT'S SNOWING. Wtf.
   
3. Some guy in Home Depot told me I had a fantastic ass. I will now be wearing my Guess jeans and heels every day. [Yes, I wore heels to Home Depot.]
4. Sneak peek of what's to come:
   

Are you kidding me?

You pretty much see it all living in New York City: dogs wearing boots, toddlers with diamond cell phones, and sweatpants that cost more than my first suit. But this, this right here is more than just a little ridiculous:


Kosher pet food? Seriously? The website for this....uh....product boasts approval from top breeders, "not to mention the Almighty." And I just lost my words. This is almost as ridiculous as this. Almost.

Only on The Real (eyeroll*) Housewives of Whatever

Are those pants made out of FUR?! Seriously? Wtf.