Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Something else I need less of: Kanye's ego


I used to think Kanye was the most arrogant bastard to ever spit a rhyme. Every other word out of his mouth is about how great and amazing he is, how he's the voice of our generation. The first (and only) time dude was ever on Oprah he basically told Queen O that his shit don't stink. I've only seen Oprah give a handful of people the side-eye, and after 10 minutes in her chair, Kanye officially became one of them. Kanye loves himself so much that he said his greatest tragedy is that he will never be able to see himself perform live. THAT, my friends, is conceit in its purest form. If Kanye's love for himself came in crystal meth, it would be the kind Whitney and Bobby smoke before beating the hell out of each other for the cameras. Seriously, even Donald Trump doesn't love himself as Kanye does (as evidenced by that dead animal he wears atop his head, but I digress.)

Despite Kanye's bromance with his own greatness, I have to respect his gangster. In the music industry, you have to respect and believe in yourself if you want anyone else to take you seriously. Whatever your definition of the word "mogul," Kanye's doing it right. He's a phenomenal performer, a talented producer, a savvy businessman, and most recently an up-and-come fashionisto. And for all the love Kanye has for Kanye, I don't think he's obnoxious about it. He doesn't go around expecting people to give him free stuff or get out of assault charges just because he's Kanye; he expects people to buy tickets to his concerts and play six of his songs on the radio because he's Kanye. Yes he thinks he's the next Michael Jackson, but his next song won't be about how he sold more records than Michael. Kanye gives respect where respect is due, which in turn makes me respect him.

I also like Kanye because despite his celebrity, he keeps it real. He has a blog, but he doesn't just use it to update the world on how amazing he is (he uses his songs for that.) He mostly uses his blog to clear up rumors or call people out on their shit, and most of the time, I completely agree with him. I don't read his blog, but I do catch snippets of it on other websites every so often. Kanye recently blogged about a fictitious Twitter account created in his name, and I have to admit, it was very entertaining. I had to sit quietly with my eyes closed afterward to recover from his caps lock affinity, but it was worth it:
(This spaz comes courtesy of losers making fake Kanye West Twitter accounts) I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING TWITTER... WHY WOULD I USE TWITTER??? I ONLY BLOG 5 PERCENT OF WHAT I'M UP TO IN THE FIRST PLACE. I'M ACTUALLY SLOW DELIVERING CONTENT BECAUSE I'M TOO BUSY ACTUALLY BUSY BEING CREATIVE MOST OF THE TIME AND IF I'M NOT AND I'M JUST LAYING ON A BEACH I WOULDN'T TELL THE WORLD. EVERYTHING THAT TWITTER OFFERS I NEED LESS OF. THE PEOPLE AT TWITTER KNOW I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING TWITTER SO FOR THEM TO ALLOW SOMEONE TO POSE AS ME AND ACCUMULATE OVER A MILLION NAMES IS IRRESPONSIBLE AND DECEITFUL TO THERE FAITHFUL USERS. REPEAT... THE HEADS OF TWITTER KNEW I DIDN'T HAVE A TWITTER AND THEY HAVE TO KNOW WHICH ACCOUNTS HAVE HIGH ACTIVITY ON THEM. IT'S A FUCKING FARCE AND IT MAKES ME QUESTION WHAT OTHER SO CALLED CELEBRITY TWITTERS ARE ACTUALLY REAL OR FAKE. HEY TWITTER, TAKE THE SO CALLED KANYE WEST TWITTER DOWN NOW .... WHY? ... BECAUSE MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS LOUD!!!!!!!!!
GASP!! Kanye doesn't have a Twitter account. ::Stunned silence:: You mean he doesn't want to let the world know what he's up to every second of every day? But how will people know how great and amazing he is if he doesn't constantly remind them?! How will people know what he just ate for lunch and what sneakers he bought so they can go out and eat at the same thing and buy the same sneakers and be JUST LIKE KANYE?!

That's easy: Kanye doesn't need Twitter to let the world know how awesome he is; he does that just by being Kanye. (Also, I still think Twitter is stupid. If the Greatest Voice of Our Generation doesn't need to twat (typo, but it stays) about his whereabouts and bowel movements, then I think the rest of us are just fine without it.)

And by the way, I now know why Kanye wears those gay-ass sunglasses that look like window blinds: because he can't read his own writing without some sort of protective eyewear. That, or he needs them to stop himself from jumping the mirror every time he gets a glimpse of how AMAZING he is.

1 comment:

red said...

Aziz Asari (who's on Parks and Recreation) is friends with Kanye. He was on Jimmy Kimmel recently and anytime he'd quote Kanye he'd get really loud and wave his hands like he was speaking in caps. It was hilarious.