But I like it here....

Dan over at [redacted] recently wrote a post about moving back to New York City after living in Miami for a few years. I left the following comment about my fear one day moving back home:

Glad you're back. However I must say, being a born-and-bred New Yorker who moved to warmer climates myself, this worries me. Does this mean I'll end up moving back to the snow and sleet, too? Is every New Yorker's inevitable plight to move someplace awesome and warm, only to realize how much they miss the En Why See? Because I really, REALLY like it here in San Diego. :-/

Here is his response:

Put it this way, Danielle. If New York and San Diego were people, New York would be Jon Hamm and San Diego would be a Jonas Brother, and when the Jonas Brother saw Jon Hamm hanging out all nonchalantly on the street corner he'd be like, "What are you doing, Jon Hamm?" and Jon Hamm would be like, "Just waiting for you to fuck it up, Jonas Brother."

All I have to say is this: if San Diego somehow stops being awesome, or if I ever tire of wearing flip-flops to work (whichever comes first), and this results in me moving back to New York, Don Draper better have an affair with me.

Shameless!

While I do enjoy talking about myself (and LOST), I will not hesitate to use this website to promote the interests of my friends. I've linked to Liz and Red over at Gingers Is the Watchword on more than one occasion, as I have with Z-man over at Death of the Courtesy Wave. [Side note: Why do my friends' blogs have such long names?] To prove to you that I have friends who are known for things other than blogging, it's someone else's turn to be shouted out on my website... a someone who just happens to be a filmmaker, and who just happens to have made a film recently.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce to you Mr. Todd M. Jones.


Todd and I went to law school together, and humorously enough, ran against each other for President of the Student Bar Association. He was clearly the better candidate (because he won) and way more qualified to be President of the student government at a Jewish law school (because I have no patience and often make off-color Jewish jokes. [See: "Jewish jokes" tag]). Despite being the better man for the job, Todd remained courteous and kind and even asked me to be part of his cabinet as a representative. Todd, in other words, is good people. Which is why I'm plastering his likeness on my website without his permission. (Hi, Todd!)

Mr. Jones and his crew have just completed their latest feature-length film. It's called Throws of Passion and it looks hilarious. Here's what Todd himself has to say about the movie:

Its a "mockumentary," which means if you enjoy THE OFFICE, or RENO 911! or THIS IS SPINAL TAP, then you would dig the style in which this movie is made. It's about a failed cable TV station and the last program it worked on - a Rock, Paper, Scissors tournament.

I watched the trailer three times today and can't wait to see the movie. Check out the trailer for Throws of Passion!!



To Todd, his crew, and everyone in the film (some of whom I recognize), congratulations and much luck! You deserve it!!

Throws of Passion trailer

One where I've been and what I've been up to

I realize that I haven't posted anything significant in a few days, and I apologize. But I assure you that there's a good reason for it. Actually, several.

First of all, I've been working on an article I'm writing for an online travel website. It's due on Friday and I will be sure to post a link to the site once it's online. I've never gone through the editing process professionally before, but I'm told it'll take about two weeks to get published. I'll be sure to keep you posted!

Second of all, I've been preoccupied with a little something called "looking for a job that pays well." While I love my punks (and would actually like to volunteer my time when I find a better-paying job), student loans need to be repaid and my summer wardrobe needs to be updated. I'm also in desperate need of a haircut and other basic necessities, and the teaching just isn't cutting it.

Lastly, there are various other people/things/puppies in my life that need socializing/doing/walking. My 13-year-old goddaughter just got her braces taken off the other day, so I went with her and her mom for the special occasion. (She looks so grown up!!) My cousin needed help with a Powerpoint project, and of course there's the ongoing matter of the home renovation. Ah life. I wonder... will it take me under?

My constant reference to early '90's rap songs notwithstanding, I thank you for your continued patronage and witty comments. And if you've never commented on this site before, then I must ask: what are you waiting for?! I love hearing from strangers! I've gotten comments from all over the U.S., Brazil, Europe, and even Australia. I'd like your two cents, so please... feel free to leave it! (And if you have actual money you'd be willing to leave, I can provide my mailing address.)

Good health and Happy LOST Day to all!

Two Three things

Okay, four.

1. I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while. Things have been kinda busy around here, what with getting beat down by three-year-olds and having holes in my ceiling and these people needing me to run errands for them. Normal posting will resume shortly. I hope.
   
2. It SNOWED here today on Long Island. April effing 8th and it SNOWED. I bet it stopped being winter three weeks ago in Minnesota. I bet the slush has already melted in Denver. I bet people in Phoenix are already using their swimming pools, but here in New York IT'S SNOWING. Wtf.
   
3. Some guy in Home Depot told me I had a fantastic ass. I will now be wearing my Guess jeans and heels every day. [Yes, I wore heels to Home Depot.]
4. Sneak peek of what's to come:
   

Me, myself and my blog

My original idea for this blog was to share sarcastic and funny stories about my life while trying to remain somewhat anonymous. I always felt that an air of mystery was essential to a good blog, and I still do. That's why until very recently I didn't post any [recognizable] pictures of myself, reveal the exact location of The Motherland or where I went to law school, or give any other personal information about danielle970 or her family.

Well as they say, all good things must evolve. At least I think they say that, I don't know. I wasn't an English major. In any event, I've decided to get a bit more personal in my posts. For instance, sometime this weekend I'll likely tell you why I was up at 5:30 this morning and why I'm mad as hell about it. And I'm sure I'll one day explain why I went to law school if I didn't want to be a lawyer, or how I sort of wish I grew up in Texas, or about the time I fell down the stairs with a baby in my arms. I may even reveal the location of The Motherland.

In the meantime, here's a little introduction to the more open concept of blogging. This first photo is of me in Lake Tahoe, freezing my ankles off. August in the Northern California mountains is NOT all that warm.

Here's me on my first night in Germany, maniacally excited about drinking Hefeweizen.

Me and my BFF Natalie in 95 degree heat in Venice, hungover and trying desperately not to puke over the side of the boat.

Being attacked by British boys in an Irish bar in Barcelona. Their friend proposed to my roommate shortly after this picture was taken. (Also, the dude on the right? He kisses girls AND boys. I have photographic proof.)

Attempting to drink an impossibly large fishbowl of some very dark beer.

You get the idea. Being less anonymous = posting more silly pictures of myself = you laughing = you coming back for more funny pictures. At least I hope so. I never really asked you, did I? Well I guess now is as good a time as any, even if it's after the fact. Here goes: what would YOU, my faithful follower, reader, commenter, like to see more of on this blog? More about me? More about my travels? More about YOU? Current events? Photography? Art? I'm open to pretty much anything, even politics. (Be forewarned, I'm a raging liberal leftist.) I'll pretty much respond to any topic you suggest, as long as it's not a legal question. So leave me a comment and tell me what you want to read about. If you're nice, I'll even include your name and a link to your blog (if you have one) in the post ;-)

I like talking about myself, who knew?

So Facebook has this thing going around. (No, it's not mono, but it's just as popular among high school kids.) It's a post in which you're supposed to write 25 random facts/goals/habits about yourself and then tag people in it so they in turn write 25 facts about themselves. A handsome Silver Fox from law school tagged me in his post, so I took the bait. And as a courtesy to all my fellow readers, I've decided to reprint those 25 things here. After all, it wouldn't be fair for all those almost-strangers on Facebook to know all that stuff about me while keeping it from you guys. AND! (Pretend I'm saying the rest in the voice of Billy Mays.) Just for all you extra-special blog readers, I've added FIVE MORE RANDOM FACTS ABOUT MYSELF! That's right, if you read now, you'll find out FIVE MORE THINGS that people on Facebook don't know about me!

Can you imagine if we all talked about ourselves like Billy Mays talks about OxyClean? ::Shudder::

(1) Law school was the biggest mistake of my life.

(2) I don't think I want children, even though everyone says I'd be a great mother.

(3) I have a very passionate, very expensive obsession with traveling. And I refuse to settle down with anyone who doesn't share the same passion.

(4) I talk to myself ALL THE TIME.

(5) If I could have any career in the world, it would be flipping houses.

(6) An ex boyfriend committed 5 intentional torts against me the day I broke up with him.

(7) I started collecting turtles from places I visited after I randomly got a tattoo of a turtle.

(8) A lot of my interesting life experiences come from summers in The Motherland. It's where I learned how to drive stick, what to do with a deer if you hit one with your car, how to bribe a local official, the difference between good pizza and FANTASTIC pizza, how to drive a boat, how to drink a Tequila Boom, and how to root for your country at an international soccer championship.

(9) I have never done karaoke, and there isn't a bribe on this Earth that would get me to do it.

(10) A month in Germany turned me into a beer snob.

(11) I dance to Spanish music in my kitchen when I bake.

(12) Conservative republicans make me see red faster than any other group of people.

(13) My dad lived in Saudi Arabia for 12 years and I regret never going to visit him, even if it was dangerous.

(14) I have no problem with public nudity, when appropriate.

(15) Until Barack Obama won the presidency, I felt more pride for being Motherlandian than I did for being American.

(16) I will one day live in California, but will most definitely miss the change of seasons.

(17) If I have kids, I will send them to Catholic school.

(18) I hate modern art and can't stand musicals.

(19) I almost joined the NYPD after college.

(20) Visiting a concentration camp changed me in ways I can't describe. I don't think anyone can experience their full range of human emotions until they've visited one.

(21) I can't STAND not having my eyebrows done, so much so that I have anxiety over it when I travel.

(22) The women in my family have this weird semi-psychic ability to predict things, and I totally believe in it.

(23) I regret transferring from Boston University.

(24) I don't wear my contacts that often because I think my glasses make me look more interesting.

(25) I've had the same best friends since I was 10 years old and I wouldn't trade them for anything.

*(26) We didn't get cable in my house until I was a teenager, so I grew up watching a lot of nature shows on PBS. As a result, I can identify an inordinate amount of birds and animals.

*(27) The first guy I ever kissed turned out to be gay.

*(28) I once drunkenly danced on a table to Weezer's Sweater Song while actually taking off my sweater.

*(29) One of the most priceless moments of my life was listening to someone call the U.N. a "useless organization" while sitting as a guest in a U.N. ambassador's home.

*(30) I have a fun knack for losing/destroying cell phones. Two of my Verizon flip phones met their demise in the state of California, one fell into a pedicure tub, one literally broke in half, and I almost lost my iPhone 5 days after I got it. And you people want to trust me with a baby? Are you out of your minds?!

So what 25 random facts about yourself do you want to immortalize on the Interwebs? Do share.

Bitter much?

I was going to do a "How to annoy me," but changed my mind upon reading my last post. Man was I in a foul mood this morning! Since the last post sounded like the ravings of a woman in need of a major bong hit, perhaps I should tone it down a little bit. Chill out max and relax all cool, as one Mr. Fresh Prince would say. So here a some good, POSITIVE things that I can focus on:

Red over at Gingers Is the Watchword did a post about magazines today and it totally got me thinking about my new obsession:

Domino magazine. I have always loved interior design and home organization, and this magazine captures my style completely. The second I have a bit more disposable income, I will be treating myself to a subscription.

I haven't had a cigarette in about 6 weeks. I was never really a habitual smoker, but this year was definitely not a healthy one, lung-wise. I went from studying for the bar (also known as Hell on Earth) straight to two months in Europe, which really isn't the place to go if you want to quit smoking. The amount and caffeine and nicotine I consumed while in the Motherland this year was ridiculous, even for my standards. Needless to say I continued the habit after I got home. But I am very happy to report that cigarettes are now BANNED from my body!

I joined a gym. Well, to be more precise, my cousin got me a 3-month membership for Christmas. And I can honestly say that I love it! I'm not looking to lose weight, but damn if I don't feel ten times better about myself after an hour of aerobics. Yay for being healthy and in shape!

See? I'm not all sarcasm and bitterness. I may have been in a funk this morning, but I recognize that it had everything to do with resenting a responsibility that fell on my shoulders and nothing to do with being sick. And once I got over myself, it actually turned out to be a not-so-awful day. See what a positive attitude can do?! A few more bong hits and I'll soon love Monday mornings like I used to love Marlboro Lights and double espressos.

Public service announcement

I realize I haven't posted in a few days, and I send my heartfelt apologies for the break in communication. But I have a very good reason. Actually, I have several good reasons. First, I've been pretty busy getting my room back in order. What started out as a simple paint job turned into some full-on construction. And it's not done yet. I promise to post pictures when the new hardwood floors go down in two weeks. Until then, you'll just have to trust that the room looks awesome so far.

The second reason for the hiatus is a little something called the flu. I'm pretty convinced I have it. Not only have I had a headache for 3 days, as well as a sore throat, runny nose and hacking cough, but there's another little present going along with this illness that makes it all the more fun...the kind of stomach ailment you get from eating the whole burrito (because you NEVER eat the whole burrito in one sitting), the kind of illness you don't wish on your worst enemy. Yeah. THAT kind.

But despite feeling like shit (ha!) I still managed to make it into Manhattan today to run an errand with my grandmother. All I really had to do was sit in the car while she went into an office building, so it wasn't that bad. I even managed to take some pictures. So while I try to stay hydrated and not cough up a lung, enjoy these pictures of my hometown. (All photos taken with my iPhone.)

Manhattan Skyline

59th Street Bridge

59th Street Bridge (AKA Queensboro Bridge)

Lexington Avenue

Grand Central Station

Park Avenue

Farewell Shea Stadium

3am insomnia

Me: Dude, he had hootchie mama chichis all up in his face. And I'm not--
Steve: Wait wait wait, hold on a second. Can we pause for a minute and reflect on the fact that you just said "hootchie mama chichis all up in his face"? The only way that could've been better is if you said "hootchie mama chichis all up in his grill."
Me: Let's pretend that's what I said when I blog about this tomorrow.

If you feel uncomfortable mailing cash...

Yes, I've seen it. I know it exists. But I'm not into clothes you can only wear for a few weeks due to their seasonal connotation. It's why I stopped wearing Easter dresses when I was 10. But thank you everyone for the suggestion! And I would not be opposed to anyone buying it for me. I would even make it the first real picture of myself I post on here, and not just pictures of my shoes or the top of my head. Something to think about....

Public service announcement

Here's a comment I received from WOW power leveling on my post about that Catholic priest from North Carolina:

Yes! Your blog is great, and I know something about the night elves, they are the race I WOW power leveling when I get my first account:The reclusive Night Elves power leveling[ were the first race to awaken in the World of Warcraft Power Leveling. These shadowy, immortal beings were the first to study magic and let it loose throughout the world nearly ten thousand years before Warcraft I. The Night Elves' reckless use of magic drew the Burning Legion into the world and led to a catastrophic war between the two titanic races. The Night Elves barely managed to banish the Legion from the world, but their wondrous homeland was shattered and drowned by the sea. I love this race and suggested everyone that start their WOW power leveling a rogue or druidof night elf

Hmm. Not sure how night elves are related to this post, but they are elves nonetheless. And I love little people, so I'll let this obviously automated comment stay. But the next time a World of Warcraft tip gets left as a comment, I will use the night elves' reckless use of magic and banish the Legion commenter from The World of My Blog. You have been warned!

Because I care about more than just baking cookies

I try to keep politics away from this blog for many reasons. First, I didn't intend for this website to be an outlet for my political views. No matter how right I think I am about my views on abortion or the economy, there will always be someone out there who disagrees with me. And I respect that. Accordingly, I try not to shove my opinions down other people's throats and preach that my way is the right way. Secondly, I didn't want to turn this site into a forum for political discussions. Everyone is entitled to read a website at their leisure without feeling like they have to disagree with what's posted. This site was meant to entertain, not incite.

There are times, however, when I can't help but express my views. There are times when I read something in the newspaper or see something on TV that I find so morally wrong that I can't help but comment on it. And that urge to speak up is severely exaggerated when that something is not only socially irresponsible, but borderline unconstitutional. And that "something" is the state of California voting "yes" on Proposition 8.

I am not gay. I have but one member of my immediate family who is gay. I don't have any close friends who are gay. I don't frequent gay bars on a regular basis or attend parades. The issue of gay marriage minimally affects me in a personal way, if at all. Yet I can't help but find what happened in California on election day nothing short of reprehensible. A state that makes up 12% of this country's population essentially declared that a certain class of citizens had the right to marry, a right which they are fundamentally entitled to under our Constitution and need not be "given," and then took it away. In the wake of making such monumental history, on the same day that this country elected a black man as president, fifty-two perfect of California's population decided that it should not be legal for members of the same sex to marry each other.

I could spend HOURS talking about why this is wrong, why it's illegal, why it's disgusting, why this is exactly the reason I am wary of religion. But rather then argue my opinion by repeating all the points that have already been made by Bill Maher, Margaret Cho and Perez Hilton, I offer you the following comment by MSNBC news correspondant Keith Olbermann. He sums up my feelings on this issue perfectly.




Thanks, Steve

An award and a meme... can your day get any better?

*That's not a picture of me

The awesome Red over at Gingers is the Watchword has chosen moi as recipient of the Brillante Weblog Award and I am truly honored. I feel like I should prepare an Oscar acceptance speech... I'd like to thank the Boston University housing department for putting Liz and I on the same all-girls floor back in 2000. Without them, I would have never met the awesome Lizard, who wouldn't have moved to San Diego and started a blog with Red, who wouldn't have been introduced to me and given me this supercool award. Thanks for the shout out, yo!!

Red has also chosen me to complete the following meme list. It's called "One Wonders," and I think I'm supposed to write the first thing that comes to my head when I see the following words. So here goes:

1. Clothes: I hate shopping but I like clothes. Expensive ones I can't afford.

2. Furniture: Love it. HGTV is always on in this house.

3. Sweet: Reaction of a frat boy who has just been told everything in his room was destroyed except for his bong.

4. City: National: San Diego; International: Berlin

5. Drink: Gin and tonic.

6. Music: Um, perhaps this.

7. TV Series: Weeds

8. Film: The Big Lebowski

9. Workout: No thanks. Unless it's swimming in the ocean.

10. Pastries: YES. Anything with cheese or cherries. Or creme filling. Or a cannoli.

11. Coffee: Can't function without it.


So I'm supposed to pass both this list and the awesome Brillante Weblog Award onto another blogger, but aside from Liz and Red, I don't really know too many. I was going to choose Steve, but he politely declined because he hasn't posted anything in a long time. But he did suggest his friend/brother from another mother, Ben. Ben is a photographer who lives in Los Angeles and works for nfl.com. (And also happens to be one of the funniest people I have ever met.) His photography is amazing, and his blog is pretty awesome, too. So without further ado, my choice for the 2008 Brillante Weblog Award (and the meme list) is Ben Liebenberg. Check him out at ALL ABOUT THE BENJAMINS. Congrats, Ben!