Broke, single, and loving it!

It's spring break for my little punks, which means it's spring break for Teacher Danielle as well. Teacher Danielle, however, doesn't get compensated nearly enough for teaching her little punks and is looking for supplemental employment. So while it's technically spring break, my job this week is to look for another job. ::Sigh::

In between selling myself (in the non-illegal, non-naked way), I happened to stumble across a post from Red over at Gingers is the Watchword. She lists 5 Signs You Know You've Been Single Too Long, and I'd like to supplement her post (like I'd like to do with income, BOOYAH!) with a few reasons why being single is totally AWESOME:

1. You don't have to worry about anyone else's social calendar. Seriously, how annoying is it to have to check with someone before committing to plans? It's different when you live with your S.O., because, really, don't you want an evening away from them once in a while? But that whole I-want-to-see-you-this-weekend-but-I'm-not-sure-if-you-want-to-see-me-so-I'll-just-wait-to-see-if-you-call-me-before-I-commit-to-plans-with-my-friends-but-something-tells-me-I'll-end-up-staying-home thing? SO over it.
2. I don't know about you, but I love sleeping alone. The older I get, the more I realize what a luxury it is to sleep in your own bed, undisturbed. And that luxury comes few and far between once you start dating someone seriously. At first it's all cute and cuddly and sweet. But after a while, the "Hold me, honey" turns into "If you don't stop snoring, I will smother you with that decorative pillow." Again, I don't know about you, but I'd prefer my relationships not to end in homicide.
   
3. You save money. Modern society, modern dating rules, right? Sometimes he pays, sometimes she pays, sometimes you split it. But no matter what that "it" is, someone is spending their hard-earned cheese. (And I don't care what anyone says, there's only so many times I'm willing to sit home and watch a movie with my boyfriend before I start hinting at how good the sushi is at Tao.)
   
4. No commitments, no being tied down, you can pick up and leave whenever you want. Let's say you have a supercool job that requires you travel all the time. Or let's say you have an uber-shitty job and you've found a new one across the country. If you have a significant other who is gainfully employed and has no interest in moving to a suburb of Berlin, then chances are you won't be moving to Berlin, either. But if you're single and unattached, then the entire world is at your fingertips. You want to teach English to kids in Vietnam? Go right ahead! You want to work for the Peace Corps and travel around Africa? God speed! Chances are, that person with whom you passed the occasional weekend before you left will still be around when you get back. And if not, there are plenty of people in Australia that would LOVE it if you came to visit. Just sayin'.
5. You don't have to field endless questions from your friends and family about your "new person." Introduce them to ONE friend, take them to ONE wedding, mention their name to ONE cousin and it's all over. First it's questions like, "How's so-and-so, are you bringing him to dinner?" Then later, expect comments like, "So I hear it's getting pretty serious!" and "OMG if we both get engaged this summer, we could have our weddings a month apart!" from all your attached friends. And really, who needs that?

I have been single now for quite some time and I couldn't be happier. I can go on the occasional date and have the occasional drink and not worry about what to get them for their birthdays. I can see Albert on Monday and Barry on Tuesday and Chuck on Wednesday, and they never have to know about each other. And best of all? At the end of the night, I get to kick my heels off in the middle of the floor, remove my makeup with the door open, and crawl into bed wearing my biggest t-shirt, all while NOT wondering what my mother would say if I married someone named Chuck.

Best and worst: First date

I thought this might be a fun new category to introduce to the blog. And what better way to kick things off than with something juicy like dating? Because one or more guys I used to date reads this site, I won't tell any embarrassing stories involving them. But I will GLADLY talk about other random dudes from my past.

Best first date: It was my second year of law school. I had just moved into an apartment with two friends from school. I was getting over a particularly shitty summer that included a breakup and the death of my grandfather. For the first time in a long time, I was letting loose. I met a guy at a bar in Manhattan. He was 31 and a lawyer with one of THE biggest law firms in the world. He took my number and promised to call. And he did! We went out the following Saturday night and it was great. We had a romantic dinner, we talked, he took me to the Wet Bar at the W hotel, then to this small pub by his apartment where the song after which this blog is named came on the jukebox and we both sang all the words. I won't go into further detail, but I met his cat and it was a totally awesome first date.

Worst first date: Same time period as above. Still letting loose, loving the single life. Met a guy at a Halloween party on Long Island. Did some harmless making-out-like-15-year-olds. Found out he was 20. Yup, you read that right. I made out with a 20-year old when I was 24 and in law school. Why then, do you ask, did I agree to go out on a date with him? ::Hanging head in shame:: I can't answer that question. He picked me up and I gave him the tour of the apartment. (I won't lie, it was a pretty sweet place.) After noticing the hardwood floors, the fireplace, the built-in bookshelves, he said, "Wow, this place reminds me of my grandma's house." After he called his mom for directions, we drove to a sushi place in his 1999 Acura where he told me all about his dream of becoming a personal trainer. He told me about his part-time job at GNC and the importance of vitamin B-12 and the proper way to bench press 100lbs. He kept saying he loved girls with ambition and was impressed that I was in law school because that must be like, totally hard. After dinner he asked if I wanted to see a movie because he was like DYING to see Saw 3 and his friend worked at the movie theater and could totally get us in for free. After the movie we drove back to my apartment while listening to a CD of his friend's band. He walked me to my door and declared that even though we'd made out before, he wasn't going to kiss me because a gentleman never kisses on the first date. Sometime during the date I gave him email address, probably so he could email me a list of vitamins I should be taking and what carbs I should avoid. He emailed me a picture of himself shirtless the next day with the message "totally not showing off but this is me after I learned the rite [sic] way to free lift." After ignoring his phone calls for a week, he left me a final voicemail that said, I shit you not, "I've been trying to call you for a while now but you're not picking up. I guess you're not into me and that's cool. I just thought we had a really fun time the other night. I don't know, I guess I read the signals wrong. I just really thought you were into me. But that's cool, I get it. Law school and stuff. It's totally whatever. Have a nice life I guess. Maybe I'll see at Rich's next keg or something."

Don't judge. You know you've been there. Maybe you weren't borderline committing a crime (or were you?) but you know you've all been on some pretty horrible first dates: the balding man who flossed his teeth at the table. The gorgeous girl who would NOT. SHUT. UP. The foreign dude who spoke 14 English words that you actually understood. Right, guys?