LOST returns for a fifth season, fans lose their shit

So my mind was officially blown last night at around 9pm. I watched the 2-hour season premiere of LOST and oh my God, the questions. THE QUESTIONS! Let's briefly re-cap.

Favorite parts: (1) When Hurley basically summed up all 4 seasons of the show in less than 30 seconds. The more he talked, the more I realized what a ridiculous premise the show is based on. Smoke monsters? Islands disappearing? Really? And yet.... (2) Watching Sawyer run around without his shirt for an hour.

Questions answered: how the island "disappeared," what sparked the Desmond-Faraday connection, if Ben will ever be trusted. (Hellz to the no!)

Questions I still want answered: why is it so g-damn important for the Oceanic 6 to go back to the island?! Why did their departure spark a rift in the space-time continuum? Why does the island want them back so badly? What IS the island? What will happen if and when they do come back to it? And whatever happened with that fake plane crash Charles Widmore planted in the Pacific Ocean, the one made to look like the Oceanic flight? According to news reports, all passengers were dead and accounted for, so how were the 6 survivors explained?

New questions: Is Locke really dead? Who is that butcher lady? Who is the nun lady? Do they run shit? Whose side is Sun on, and why was she wearing a wedding/engagement ring in the airport?

Assumptions: Sawyer and Juliette will become the new island leaders and/or bang, Kate will return and complicate shit. Ben sent those "lawyers" to Kate's house to scare her into going back to the island. I think Miles is Pierre Chang's son. Hurley may not be as crazy as we think. Jin isn't dead; Sun may or may not know this. Faraday's mother, whoever she may be, is somehow connected to Desmond and/or Pierre Chang. Maybe she's the cloaked nun in that creepy church basement scene; maybe she's Jacob. Who the fuck knows anymore.