My dentist of 20 years: You should go to business school. You'd be a CPA with a law degree, like my brother. He does my taxes and keeps me out of jail at the same time.
Me: Really? What have you been claiming that you shouldn't be, Doctor?
Dentist: No, that's just it--he tells me what NOT to claim! Every year he looks at my receipts and records and is like, "You can't claim this, you can't claim this, you DEFINITELY can't claim that...."
Me: And this is why I have Jewish people do my taxes.