(10) I married (and later divorced) this European guy when I was 23 just so he could get a green card. We still send Christmas cards.
(9) When I lived in L.A., I flashed my press credentials to get into a club where Entourage was filming.
(8) I made a million dollars during the recession of 2009.
(7) I bought a house on the beach in San Diego with that million dollars.
(6) I invented Febreze.
(5) I ran into John Stewart at a truck stop in Memphis when I drove from New York to California. He bought me a pastrami sandwich and called Jessica Simpson's singing career "the greatest farce since Elvis' death."
(4) I actually have one more tattoo than you think I do.
(3) I spent a summer in Africa building houses for orphans.
(2) I was in Washington D.C. the day Obama declared the national health care plan.
(1) I met your grandfather on an flight to Costa Rica. I spilled a drink in his lap and a year later, we were married.
I'm hoping that two or three of those will actually be true by the time I have grandchildren. How about you guys? What crazy stories do you hope to one day leave as your legacy?
That's the view from my multimillion dollar mansion in La Jolla. That's me in the lower right hand corner, being escorted by my husband, who just landed a sweet job with Apple. If you look closely, you can see all the sea lions we saved in our spare time.
3 comments:
I'm gonna tell 'em I invented Post-Its and held out for a "Coach Taylor."
I'll just tell my grandkids that I invented the internet... But if you said that you don't want to have kids, where do the grandchildren come from? Unless you plan to adopt the African orphans who you just built homes for (#3) which would probably defeat the purpose of building the houses in the first place. Of course if you can get a SS# for them, you'd get to add dependents to your tax returns at a cost of 70 cents a month according to those commericals.
Red - You mean like Romy and Michelle? As for Coach Taylor... if you find one, let me know if he has a brother. You may have already seen it, but if you REALLY want to swoon: http://thepioneerwoman.com/2007/09/the_night_ree_drummond_met_marlboro_man.html
Z-man, did you just lawyer me?
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