Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Living together before marriage: yes or no?

RB and I were invited to a get-together this weekend, but we had to decline because we'll both be moving. When the question of whether we're moving in together came up, and we answered no, we got an interesting reaction: "That's strange."


Now I'm not a traditionalist. I have no problem with living together before getting married or engaged. It makes sense for most people, both economically and practically. (I mean, don't you want to know your significant other's bathroom habits and kitchen-cleaning methods before moving in together? I know I do.) So there are no religious or family-related reasons behind our decision. And it's not that we don't think we'd get along in tight quarters. (We've taken several trips together and have spent many a weekend house-sitting together.) It's not that we have vastly different schedules or dislike each other's sleeping habits. (We probably spend 3-4 nights a week together and sleep just fine.) And it's not that we get on each other's nerves after spending a few days together. (See above.) It really comes down to two factors: 1) we're in no rush, and 2) RB has never lived alone before, which is something I strongly encourage. We already know we're in this relationship for the long haul and have the rest of our days to find that "perfect apartment" together. So "why rush it?" is our thought process. 

So there you have it. Two adults who are in a healthy, committed relationship (and have been for 10 months), who love each other like crazy, and who are choosing to postpone living together. It was the right decision for us. Now what about you guys? Do you live with your significant others? How did you make the decision to/to not live together? Why do you think/not think it's a good idea? Share!

1 comment:

Sabrina said...

My fiance and I don't live together. Partly because our parents would flip, but mostly because we both own our own houses. Soon we will be getting married and then we will sell one house at a time. He is over a lot so that is perfect for me.I really like my space. :) I think even if we had a longer engagement we would probably still live in our seperate houses. It just works well that way for us.